They individually stands for:Affinity: It's a natural attraction by any virtue. It may be by natural relations like siblings, parents or some goodwill like good friends, sometimes may be business needs such as clients, also seldom the infatuation.
Communication: The exchange of thoughts by any mean. May be verbal/written in several languages or can be in signs.
Reality Agreements: These are made by us as a whole. The objects we see in our daily life, we name them, everyone calls it by its name. Like a wooden object made of 4 legs & a rectangular top may be a stool, a tea table, a study table or a bed, etc. depending on its physical size. Same applies for the situaltions.
Any relation is maintained by the balance of these three elements. Whenever the balance is disturbed, the relationship starts to cockle. So this can be a very basic approach to reclaim the losing links of great bounds. Let's understand, how this construct works?
Think of the one closest person to you & question:
1. Don't you have Affinity towards him ?
2. Don't you Communicate with him ?
3. Don't you have Reality agreements with him?
Yes, you've all these in place with the person. Now if you think of last conflicts with the same person or some other. What was that? Was it a miscommunication or a reality conflict? in most of the cases, it's a communication gap. How was it resolved? just by communicating & convincing each other, isn't it? Sometimes may be reality disagreement which was later converted into agreement and things were back to place. How the discrepancy resolved? just by communication. You haven't lost the affinity in both the cases, however.
How Affinity is Lost?
Coming to some bigger dispute in the past which is yet there, a link which started simply and grown up to a better friendship & now nothing in between or even hostile. How it started? with a disagreement followed by lack of the communication. What happened later? Probably you didn't cared since it was not the way you wanted nor he did ! And with the fleeting time, the distances kept increasing. Did you noticed that you're losing the affinity with him? Most likely you didn't. Since if you did then it would have been much better today.
This is not the reason always, at times the story may be dramatic. Such as a villain who can't see you two happy & together. So due to jealous, he will provoke both against each other. In all such cases, it's just about communication. If someone complains about your friend, then it's your call that how far you trust whom? Here, you must go & ask your friend directly that is it so? This way you come to know the fact & situations. This way you'll be able to save loss of the affinity & eventually your relation. Here if you opt the other way (not communicating with friend), your ignorance results in the disinterest which leads to distorted relation, gradually the affinity is lost & relation disappears.
How Communication is lost?
"Now-a-days lifestyle is much busier, hence we fail to manage the time & we're unable to spare the time for communicating with our near & dear ones." The tragedy is, we think this statement applies to me only & not to the rest of the world. So we remember who missed to wish me this anniversary (the ego) & he is not good to us anymore thus we won't contact him anymore.(this is sad !)
Now if we change this angle by 180 degrees, means the statement applies to everyone in the world except me ?
Wow, thats beautiful, isn't it? You never mind who remembers you & who don't as they're all busy people. And you try, never to forget anyone at any ocassion, here you get the everlasting relationships.
Why Reality Conflicts?
These we can see more in children. What does that mean?
Immaturity is the most prevailing reason for reality conflicts. Different levels of perception between people, dissimilar understanding to the situations.
This can be easily sorted out through good discussions or sometimes with the help of third person, so as to come on a meaningful conclusion. Reality conflicts are better if never minded.
Thence, here we conclude that next time when we see a downtime in relationship, we work around the ARC to find out the shortfall and rejuvenate the relation by fulfilling it.
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